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The cancellation of Quark after a mere eight episodes makes us ponder yet again the existence of intelligent life in the television universe. Created by Buck Henry, who with Mel Brooks, sent up the spy genre with Get Smart, this quite funny 1978 series spoofs space operas like Star Trek and Star Wars. Richard Benjamin stars as Adam Quark, an "ordinary human," who commands a United Galaxy Sanitation Patrol ship. His mission: "To boldly seek out grime and grit, to collect the uncollectible space baggie, and to always leave the area cleaner than when I found it." His eccentric crew includes Ficus (Richard Kelton), a Spock-like Vegeton; Gene/Jean ("Timothy" Thomerson), a male/female "transmute"; the gorgeous, hot pantsed navigators Betty I and Betty II (Cyb and Patricia Barnstable, who gained commercial fame as the Doublemint Twins), one of which is a clone; and Andy; the cowardly robot. The hapless Quark yearns for greater adventures, but gets no votes of confidence from bureaucrat Otto Palindrome (a pre-Mork & Mindy Conrad Janis), who administers Space Station Perma One as the behest of the behemoth The Head (Alan Caillou). Proceed with warp speed past the pilot episode. The series really takes off with the second episode, "May the Source Be With You," featuring the voice of Hans Conreid as the galaxy's supposed greatest weapon, but, that, after 200 years of inaction, is a little rusty. The Force may not be entirely with the cheesy-looking Quark, but, like Mel Brooks' When Things Were Rotten, this dimly remembered curiosity rates rediscovery. May it live long and prosper on DVD. --Donald Liebenson
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